National Mechanics - News

Insert Witty Title Here

2008-07-17T12:07:00Z

The Dark Knight opens this weekend and it's supposed to be 2-cold-showers-a-day hot. This is bad news. It's shaping up the be the perfect storm of sweaty comic-book nerds, disrespectful movie talkers and every other Bruce, Wayne and...whoever showing up. But, if you watched that trailer, can you really resist the allure? I'm packing up a tent and hibachi. See you in the front of the Franklin Institute.

Last night's quiz was once again really hard and once again, I lost. I can't even blame booze this time because I didn't really get too drunk. I blame the iPhone and my constant reliance on Google when it comes to all things forgettable. I mean, there is no real reason to remember Tarzan's Chimp's name or whatever that Harrison Ford movie was in the second round when you have a little device that can look it up. I'm too busy remembering important things like where I put my keys and the lyrics to Devil Went Down to Georgia to lose sleep over such trifling matters.

I don't really know the lyrics to Devil Went Down to Georgia, I was just being facetious. I really did lose my keys though.

In other news, Jodie's Fuzzy Pooper is Going to The Beach Friday! earlier mentioned as Jodie's Fuzzy Pooper Ruined It took home the first place prize. I'm assuming that Jodie's Fuzzy Pooper decided to go to the beach mid-game so cheers to that, Jodie, Michelle, Michele, Jeanne, Brian, Mitchel and Jeff. The 2nd place prize this week went to the very timely Boo, Fuck You consisting of Phil, Jennifer, Pete, Moira and Dave.

Congrats teams and see you next week!

P.S. I didn't really lose my keys, either.

Quizzo Blahg

2008-07-10T17:35:00Z

After the jump, Jesse Jackson and Barack Obama in the fight of lifetime. One will walk away with the other's balls in glorious victory and the loser will shamefully weep over his castration and humiliation!!

Way to support the first black man to get the Democratic nod and may be the next president, Rainbow Jackson.

Last night's game was more drunken debauchery than Quizzo. We scored 5 in the first round then just sort of gave up. We did, however, manage to drink a bunch of bourbon, vodka and beer....

::sigh::

So overall, last night was way too hard. I mean, I barely remembered that The Cardigans existed let alone remembered their only hit and the lead singer. That would be like me remembering what constellation is on the Australian flag. The only thing that's making this all comforting is that I get to spend a moment looking at the Google Image page for Liv Tyler. That's right, I chose an elf picture.

::second sigh for entirely different reasons::

Anywhooo, congrats to last nights winners <strike>Lil Ray</strike> Lil ROY and the Screamers consisting of Johhny-Boy, Catherine, Mark, Tony, Tonya and Mersas. Coming in a close second was Team Discovery Channel with Doug, Betty, Julia, Paul, Sarah and Anna on board.

Job well done, teams. Now I'm going to curl up and cry my hangover away.

Quizzo Victory 2: The Losening

2008-07-03T16:02:00Z

In the Aeroplance Over the Sea

Enjoy Jeff Magnum and co. to get into that 4th of July spirit...or something.

Quizzo was pretty quiet last night.

It had the lazy air of a daytime baseball game, but with more trivia questions and stools. It was also in a much smaller building than somewhere that baseball could be played.

In any case, my team went back to the losers table with the rest of the losers and jerks. Just kidding losers table occupants, you'll make it out of here someday. And that day will be glorious and the gods will sing and the heavens will rain sparkly, rainbow-flavored gum drops and girls will get wet in the pants and guys will get boners in the pants and all will be right. Until that day, however, we all have to drink from the same trough so move over and let me back in.

<strike>Ok. I have a confession to make. In my hungover state, I forgot the score sheets at home this morning so I have no idea who won or what the scores were or whatever. Expect an update with teams and members at 6ish or so. Until then, hold your breath.</strike>

Congrats Fenton, Dunker, Ashley, Tracy, Becky and Habib of Tight Like a 10 Year-Old on your victory. I'm Chris Hansen, please have a seat.And congrats to Johnny Boy, Ed Seamons, J. Stickle and Catherine Anderson of Lil' Ray Screamed on your 2nd place win.

Veni, Vidi, Vici

2008-06-26T15:43:00Z

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating...and you finish off as an orgasm.

George Carlin

I won last night.

Now, I mean, I don't want to sound pompous or vain or glorious or fabulous or whatever I am, I'm just saying to all the other teams who really did try hard: great job. I know it's not easy losing, I mean, we've all been there at one time or another. I'm not totally sure what the sensation is like because I'm still floating in a dream-like cloud of intoxicating victory...or opium. In any case, I'd like to thank everyone who helped me make it here. My family, my friends, my Quizzo agent without whom this never would have happened. Ummm..what? I have to wrap this up? Ok, well...Jesus! I want to thank Jesus!!

Just kidding. I have all day to talk about this shit...but I won't. I'm already tired of the joke and I'm the one who won.

So the first two rounds weren't too bad, (I mean, I won) we only missed Hattie McDaniels in the picture round and the last round ended in a tie! Not as dramatic as last week's tie, but it was kind of a heart-pounding, white-knuckle, edge of your seat action party explosion!!! Anyhooo, we were closest without going over Martina Navratilova's Wimbledon victories, so we took home the spoils.

2nd place and a $20 tab went to Joe, Duane, Craig and Nicole of The Judean People's Front and first place and a $40 tab went to Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Mother Fucker and Tits consisting of yours truly with both Paul's and Molly, although not all at the same time.

Great job teams and see you next week!

NYC Hearts Us

2008-06-25T18:18:00Z

We love when people come and eat and drink with us and we love it even more when they enjoy themselves. But if you've got a blog, enjoy our company and food and beer AND you want to write about us, we'll bro-hug like awkward friends. Cereally.

Meat in My Mouth

Sure the blog name might not be appetizing, but it's titular directness and content are so perfect for each other, the fellatio-undertones are very overlook-able. So now that all sexual hang-ups have been dealt with, let's get some meat in your mouth!

The Greatest Quizzo Blog Ever Conceived

2008-06-19T20:02:00Z

If you think the title may be a littler hyperbolic or even a contain a little bit of hubris, click through and prepare to be BLOWN AWAY!!11!!

This week the Quizzo blog is going to be a post-apocalyptic, steampunk, multi-media extravaganza. Directions are as follows:

The links will direct you to a Youtube video of a song. Open these links in different tabs or windows (a right click will do the trick) and return to the blog. The videos will begin to play after you click on them and will provide background music to the narrative below. At each break, stop the previously opened video and open the new one, again in another window or tab, to provide the next round of background music. There are 3 links. As far as I know this is the first time this is being done, so tell me how it worked!

Link 1

As the sun began to set, the three idling motorcycles kicked into gear and pulled out onto the road. The bikes were stripped down, homemade choppers that had more stolen and jury-rigged parts than originals. Idling they were loud enough to shake your ribs and speeding they would shatter them. The machine's roar, like the thick black cloud of exhaust and dust that swirled in the twilit street, dissipated as the bikes tore away toward the night's game. The burgeoning silence was accentuated as the orange glow of the hearth disappeared behind the heavy wooden door's lock. Even the plants seemed to shudder.

The 3 bikes sped down the decaying cobblestone avenue toward the pub. The rider's faces were masked by Muslin scarves worn high to block the dust, thick amber goggles and leather helmets. Gnarled and thick hands stuck out of leather jackets and gripped the tarnished metal handlebars as the bikes sped past the crippled shells of bombed-out buildings. Brick and mortar crumbled into piles of rubble at the base of what were once great halls while twisted metal and mountains of dirt had taken the place of the shrubs and landscaping. The ruins were just now beginning to see trees poke out from within their dusty, weed-infused skeletons. The bikes veered around the burning hulls of a 2 car accident as beady eyes and grubby hands warmed themselves in the flames of the wreck. The wretched bastards lived in the ruins; whatever skin wasn't covered in filthy rags was covered in sores and boils from an overabundance of UV radiation. The bodies of the 2 drivers were still inside, cooking, as the bikes sped onward. They wouldn't be there on the way back.

As the final hill was crested the lights of New Philadelphia glistened and sparkled in the distance. The twinkling skyscrapers, buzzing helicopters, flailing searchlights pointed to the skies and dazzling, flashing advertisements set against the last vestiges of waning daylight were almost dreamlike in their contrast to life on the dusty ground. The riders, tearing through the silent streets, would stay on the outskirts of town. New Philadelphia didn't cater to this caste of Outlanders.

The three riders had reached their destination at one of the few remaining buildings of Old Philadelphia; an ancient Greek building standing alone amidst dry, dusty earth and uneven, broken cobblestone. A shantytown had been erected in it's morning shade to shield the people from the powerful sun. The riders disembarked in a cloud of dust behind the tent-city; the din of the bar in the distance was as inviting to those in that rotting wasteland as a fire is from the cold. The darkness had now set in fully and the starless sky was dark save the slim, waxing moon. The three riders made their way through the darkness toward the building.

Link 2

Once inside the riders sat at a corner table near the back and ordered a round of drinks. The lighting, powered by Italian Greyhounds running on treadmills high above the crowd, shorted out constantly and was colored by black light and neon; it was nearly impossible to see through the thick clouds of smoke each taking the color of the light they floated through; a glowing miasma of blue, purple, green, red and gray.

Wednesday was the night of the weekly Pub Quiz which meant that the dredges would be out to get drunk and see blood spilled. Much of the clientèle, like the bikers, had a fine coating of black dust ingrained within their sun-warped skin. The men wore brightly dyed mohawks or thick multi-colored dreadlocks and were covered in amateur tattoos and piercings. The scantily clad women, their heavily made-up faces aged well beyond their years, bore the signs of a lifetime of abuse. Teenagers skulked in the shadows, illuminated only when they took a draw from a cigarette, waiting for the first lush to fall asleep and forfeit his or her wallet. Everyone was no more than a bad look away from a violent attack. Then the Quizmaster came out.

The only thing that could match the foul living conditions of Old Philadelphia was the tongue of The Quizmaster; it was as sharp as a razor and as filthy as a whore. His mere presence was like an electric current throughout the bar. He dressed outlandishly, spoke with a thick brogue and was quick to strike. One unlucky drunk, who hadn't noticed The Quizmaster arrive, had his seat kicked out from underneath him and found a 6-inch serrated blade driven deep into his heart before he had even hit the ground. The Quizmaster, grinning devilishly beneath twisted locks curling out from under his tall stove-pipe hat, conspicuously and gracefully leaned down to the man, now prone on his back, and fiercely whispered something into his ear. The convulsing victim's eyes bulged as The Quizmaster ceremoniously ripped the blade from his chest, spraying the surrounding crowd with a fountain of blood, and as a gurgling death rattle was emitted from below, a wild, uproarious cheer erupted from the crowd. The game had begun.

The teams fought fiercely for each correct answers as the wrong answers carried heavy penalties. One team thought they were right and during the ensuing celebration, the crowd covered them in cheap gin, lit them on fire and threw them into the street. They had misspelled Diogenes.

Other teams narrowly escaped the powerful crushing jaws of genetically engineered giant crocodiles leaping and snapping from trapdoors beneath the tables, dodged sparking, spinning saw blades, that would take your limb if not your life, that were hidden within cracks in the walls and floors and leapt to avoid all manner of makeshift blades, small explosives and chemical agents thrown indiscriminately by The Quizmaster. Many were less fortunate and as the body count rose, the team numbers and ranks dwindled.

In the end, two teams survived the onslaught, but ended up in a tie. Ties never bode well in this game, however, and The Quizmaster quickly improvised a tie-breaker that would truly decide the fate of the players. With the aid of a flash grenade he slipped through a secret door and left in his place his weight in Composition 4 Plastic Explosives. As the screaming and hysterical crowd streamed through the door, trampling those unfortunate enough to have tripped on the bodies below, the bikers finished their drinks and eyed each other.

Link 3

The explosion and subsequent fire weren't even noticed by the New Philadelphia fire company, who wouldn't have come out at night anyway. The smoke was wispy in the morning twilight and as the bikes tore off, one of the bikers turned and faced the sun rising over the Delaware. The river, it's small waves dappled with the bright morning sunlight, danced along in wobbly, glowing orange lines. A lone fisherman cast his line from a bobbing boat and young trees rippled in the light breeze. Flowers began to unfurl themselves, stretching their dewy petals out to greet the new day. Softly, in the distance, the quiet roar of the bikes could be heard. The fisherman never turned his head.

Congrats teams. Winners this week were That was me in the R. Kelly Video featuring Dr. Mike, KristIn, Charity, Bill, Lauren, BJ, D'Arcy and a mysterious, point-reducing 8th member. In a heartbreakingly close 2nd place was Teledildonics made up of Jimbo, Sean, Rob, Reese and Eddie Mother-Fuckin' Money. Hope you enjoyed the blog and see you next week!

86 Chernobyl

2008-06-12T15:58:00Z

For all you folks who have never worked at a restaurant or don't know common expressions, when you "86" something, it means that it's off the menu, out of stock, gone, no more and out the back door. The Chernobyl nuclear disaster also happened in 1986, so when the tie-breaker question came up at last night's Pub Quiz about the year that the meltdown went down, someone mentioned that it "86'd Chernobyl." I just thought that explaining the joke here might have been funny...Apparently not so much. But the acknowledgment of the bad joke and subsequent creation of a new self-deprecating joke is funny enough. Quizzo action after the jump!!!

So last night's Pub Quiz was another loser for me, although the team that always wins didn't win, so that's sort of a victory right? Whatever, I'll drink to that.

Anyway, the first round, with the help of a proxy team, was a GREAT round for me which I unfortunately forgot to joker. The next round didn't look too easy for any of the teams with the average score being around 6, so I'll just say I did average. Honestly, whoever knew who that Swedish sounding boxer was needs to reevaluate their knowledge structure and maybe get that piece of brain removed. I mean, you'd get a cool lobotomy scar and have no qualms about voting republican!

In lighter news, the picture round went well for loads of teams, including your ever faithful bard's. I even recognized an aged Phylicia Rashad as if I had just left Rudy's birthday party. (You'll always be Claire Huxtable to us.)

The last round had some questions or whatever and some teams scored lots of points or something...

::sigh::

2nd place and taking home the $20 gift certificate this week was Three on the Dole formerly of 4th Place fame. The team was made up by Brian, Jeff, Jodie, Michele, Kevin, Megan, another Michele and fearless leader Christine! The first place prize, however, went to Teledildonics manned by Jimbo, eBS, Kool Aid Wino and Reese.

I met and re-met a handful of folks last night so big ups also go out to the Bill Brasky crew, Shannon and John (?) whose names I might be misremembering but who hooked it up with answers in the first round and finally, Teledildonics, whom I apparently insulted in the past. It was good seeing everyone again and if I insulted you above or do in the future, don't take it personally. I hate, like, everybody...except for you Mrs. Huxtable. : )

Titan Rules, Ganymede can SUCK IT

2008-06-05T15:39:00Z

And every so often, there are moments which call on that fundamental goodness to make this country great again. So it was for that band of patriots who declared in a Philadelphia hall the formation of a more perfect union; and for all those who gave on the fields of Gettysburg and Antietam their last full measure of devotion to save that same union. So it was for the Greatest Generation that conquered fear itself, and liberated a continent from tyranny, and made this country home to untold opportunity and prosperity. So it was for the workers who stood out on the picket lines; the women who shattered glass ceilings; the children who braved a Selma bridge for freedom's cause. So it has been for every generation that faced down the greatest challenges and the most improbable odds to leave their children a world that's better, and kinder and more just. And so it must be for us. - Barack Obama

Celebratory Quizzo action after the jump...

3rd place.

Argh...

I feel like a white guy running for president! Seriously, can't I get a break? A single second place to snuggle up with and hold me and tell me it's ok? I'm on the verge of a total meltdown that would look something like this if I weren't all hungover and lazy and happy with my state of employment and faking my resentment about losing.

Whatever.

We raged the picture round, knew the REAL Sylvester Stallone porno (The Italian Stallion, sadly, it wasn't Rambone or Cocky) and our team-name made a sly reference to the gay pants of someone in attendance last night. Beat that teams with better scores.

In teams with better scores news, the 2 teams that beat mine were The Sultans of Tangier and I Pooped on Your Food. Both teams fought hard, although IPYF had some extra help (I'm on to you) so I guess they deserve some credit or whatever.

The Sultans of Tangier was manned by Joe, Ben, who will be gone until August, (I'm assuming on some sort of south-of-the-border drug run,) Craig, Victorino, Nicole, Eric and Diane. I Pooped On Your Food was manned by Trau and the PA Carbomb, Sarah who loves J from Cats, Ray who is going home to watch Rambone and I Heart T&A Wallace. Congrats teams and see you next week!

This week, Scott Mcclellan will be guest writing...

2008-05-29T17:31:00Z

"Chameleon inflated Saturday before examples of living trusts prized treasures spearmen"

That was the final line of a spam message left for the blog. I would LOVE to know what market they are looking to target. Maybe it's just the combination of the keywords "Chameleon" and "spearmen" but I am definitely imagining Sleestaks.
Stuff about last night after the jump...

So last night started with Bill Brasky's best friends buying SoCo and limes, tequila shots and beers for me and a handful of people around the curve of the bar.The alpha/leader/loudest guy of the group, and only one who hadn't vomited before he left, was a mash up of professional wrestler, an over-zealous Little League parent and Sergeant Slaughter but fuck it, I'd drink with the devil himself if he was buying. So, the first round and most of the second was spent with boisterous, drunken southerners in town for a trade show and now, as the red hand-shaped marks start to disappear from my shoulder (and I'm sure more than a few girls' asses) and the hangover clears, I'd like to make a whiskey-in-the-coffee toast to Bill Brasky. TO BILL BRASKY!

In actual Quizzo news, the picture round is here to stay! We've been raging this round to the fullest so all you text-based thinkers (and dolphins) can SUCK IT! We got every one except for Gary Kasparov this week and next week we're going for blood.

As for the normal rounds, we didn't do too bad while some teams did quite well which handily explains their winning and our losing. I'm proud to say, however, that we were tied for 3rd place. But since only 2 teams get anything, we were left to wail and moan and gnash our teeth. Someday, though, I will win and on that day the heavens shall roar and National Mechanics shall split asunder and OTHER MIGHTY JESUS STUFF WILL HAPPEN!!1!

Anyhooo, the winning team this week was The Unfuckwithables manned by Duane, John, Cyndi, Joe, Craig, Nicole and Ben. 2nd place was Hillary's Assassin Squad consisting of Cap'n Rich, Shaun, Tone Loc, Lynxmouth and Russel Athletic.

Congrats to the winners and see you next week!

It's all David Cook's Fault

2008-05-22T18:41:00Z

Last night went from a Quizzo induced delerium to a bourbon fueled nightmare faster than you can slur "another round" so if my langauge is a little rough today, you can go and die in a fire.

; ) but seriously, >: O

In happier emoticon status, the bar was packed full of Quizzonauts last night. When we showed up we got the last two seats at the bar and people were still pouring in. I may have to start showing up (read: start drinking) earlier from now on.

There was another picture round this week and Irish John's favorite game show host Ben Bailey (the Cash Cab guy) was the face that the entire bar forgot, or never knew, as was my case. I guess all of us can't be as fanatical about asking trivia questions in strange settings as Irish John though. Also, to the team who thought Liono's name was Lionel; the Sword of Omens called and it is PISSED.

Anyway, 2 teams had to walk out winners as opposed to teetering, bourbon soaked losers and those teams were The Sultans of Tangier in 1st and THe Fat Hairy Fupas in 2nd. The Sultans were manned by Ben, Joe, Craig, Nicole and Duane. The Fat Furry Fupas (great name by the way) consisted of Fenton, Sean, Ashley, Lucii (I think) Duncker and Raechel.

Peace and Jah bless! Ya Gwon!

Out Appeasin'

2008-05-16T17:52:00Z

Well, Israel is 60 and since I already sent my birthday gift over, I think it's about time everyone else did the same. I'm looking in your direction Palestine...

So nobody laughed at my team name last night. I mean My Chinese is a little shaky, but... might be a little obscure for someone in outer space, but even if you live under a rock you know when the Earth shakes! Seriously, when a joke like that fails, angels commit murder/suicides on kittens.

Besides everyone's whiff on my HILARIOUS joke, the night went quite well. There was another picture round with such illustrious faces as Jayne Mansfield, Yahoo Serious and Mr. Anti-Semite himself, Henry Ford! There were 3 regular question rounds covering everything from Cher's cradle-robbing ways to what the scientific word for egg white is. Yes friends,it was, in other words, abso-fucking-lutely mind melting.

Also, in case my hordes of fans are wondering why this didn't come out yesterday, you can blame out sales team. I know there have been protests and large demonstrations planned world wide due to the absence of the blog, so you can just call them off and get in touch with the sales people. If you don't know the number, just leave a profanity laced comment threatening their lives and loved ones and I'll be sure to pass it on.

Anyway, onto the winners. Coming in 1st place was We Call It Burma manned by Jen, Peter "eafin", Moira, Scott, Phil and Dave. Second place was Sir Chomps A Lot consisting of Zibby, Andy, Raven, Sarah, Matt, Steve and Cat.

Congrats teams!

The Dearly Departed Blood and Guts Murphey...

2008-05-08T15:43:00Z

She can't win based on the amount of votes allowed, her campaign is hemorrhaging funds and yet still she doesn't just stop. I'm seriously expecting her to, after Obama gets the nomination, come out of a closet (literally, not figuratively) all bloodied and limping for one last chance to get him, but Michelle Obama's going to see her first and shoot her over Barack's shoulder. Then the campaign will be over...Believe it or not, Quizzo content following.

There was a picture round last night! Oh the Fear, Oh the Wonder! I trembled before this awesome and mighty mutation from the norm...and according to the members of my team, Donnatella Versace looks like an unknown tranny/porn star and Jessica Rabbit is still hot.

It was a good game last night though. There wasn't a seat available and people were even standing at the little pulpit thing by the door. Apparently this blog is so wildly popular that people can't help but show up in hopes of getting mentioned...and they probably like the quiz too, or whatever.

So beside the fact that the bar was teeming with my adoring fans and there was an exciting new element added, Quizzo went exceptionally poorly for me. I mean, by the end of the night I was trying Jalapeño tequila which, when served sans Bloody Mary parts, is like drinking liquid fire with a long finish. I can still taste it in the back of my throat. But as I was sinking deeper and deeper into intoxication, other teams were doing quite well!

Congrats longtime Quizzo attendees but 1st time winners Coconut Sprite better known as Fourth Place: Jodie Seiz, Michelle DeCastro, Kevin Pearl, Christine Randazzo, Megan Gillman and Brian Duffy. Apparently Kevin Pearl was their secret weapon so if you're reading this Kevin, my team always has an open seat (winking in a non-gay way.) Second place and the $20 prize went out to The Safe Word is Banana manned by Nick Thomson, Lauren, Rachel, Charity Titters and Our Bill. Apparently they don't get as kinky with produce as I do...

Until next week, Quizzonauts!

Mayday Mayday! Nah, just kidding, we cool yo.

2008-05-02T15:04:00Z

May Day can either be a celebration of International Workers’ Day or it can be a cross-quarter day in which we celebrate the beginning of summer. I personally like the idea of a Bacchanalian romp in the woods complete with animal sacrifice, orgies, wine and shanks of meat, so on this May Day, I say we forget about our jobs, retire to Fairmount Park and throw a good old fashioned orgy. Who’s with me!?!

Last night was a great night for Quizzo. The air was crisp, the crowd was lively and Irish John wasn’t drunk, if you can believe it. Only one team had the class to bring up that diabolical Austrian guy in their team name using I’ve Been in the Basement for 24 Years. What’d I Miss? as their moniker, but I’ll forgive them on the grounds that it was funny. <strike>On the sunnier side of things (that was a bad joke, sorry.) </strike> In lighter news, my team lost again, but gave a fighting chance this time through. Big ups to Terry and Jaime, our second place winners, for being so cordial about their win and our valiant attempt.

::grumble grumble::

Anywhoo, the quiz was an average one on a hardness scale with a few major wrenches thrown in here and there. I mean, I don’t know how many Catholics show up for Quizzo but I’m willing to bet the ones who do, don’t know the fucking pope’s real name! It was Adolf or something, I don’t remember.

So yeah, since I lost and I’m feeling a bit hungover, here it is. Coming in 1st was Homeless or Spies manned by Pete, Dave, Phil, Scott, Sarah, Jen, Moira and Mark. 2nd place, as was already mentioned, was You Are Not The Father consisting of Terry and Jaime.

Congrats teams and I’ll see you next week.

The Shape of Things to Come

2008-04-24T15:48:00Z

It's been a good couple of weeks for Philadelphia. The Flyers are doing great, the Phil's are on a roll, the Kimmel is out of debt, we're keeping The Gross Clinic in Philly, hell, we even voted OUT a guy under federal investigation. Now if I could just get a fucking win in Quizzo...

Sooo, as I stated in the excerpt, I lost. Did I just say LOST? It's like 9:30 and my mind is already on it. I even had a dream where I was riding the Black Smoke Monster around like Atreyu on Falcor. Only 12 more hours...

Anyway, I've got to shake this...on to Quizzo!

So last night I did about as well as Oceanic 815 did getting from Australia to LA. Well, maybe not that bad, but I certainly didn't win. I guess it can be more likened to Hurley playing Walt in backgammon; consistently losing, but used to it at this point. I'm just glad I'm not $83,000 in debt to Irish John for it.

So yeah, the first round went as smoothly as a Sawyer nickname with Charlie (Paul) Brown assisting the team with his knowledge of the "I" placement in "Plagiarize." Most teams did pretty good, save one or two. I'm looking at you Young Philly and Define Buffoonery.

The next round was like Paulo and Nikki; terrible. I mean, there were questions about rodeos, Ronald Regan and terrible Bond movie actresses. Dude, how the hell are we going to remember old Law and Order actresses who were in Bond movies nobody ever saw? He totally Scoobie-Doo'd us on that.

Anyway, the last round was my Arzt. I was doing quite well handling a high score, I was even tied for first place at one point, but alas, like 300 year old dynamite, I blew myself up without even knowing it. To tell you the truth, I'm glad I didn't know that Nelly and Tim McGraw made music together. My life was like a pre-hatch island before that tidbit of information and now it's sullied with the mystery of what terrible consequences must have come from that horrible, horrible alliance.

Anyway, the 2nd place team this week was South Armagh made up by Jack, Rose, Sun and Jin while 1st place and a $40 bar tab went to Sir Chomps-a-Lot made up by Locke, Hurley, Sawyer and Claire.

Great jobs Lostonauts and see you lost Lost!

Raoul Duke: Dogs f*cked the Pope... no fault of mine.

2008-04-17T15:39:00Z

While you were getting busy in your "Marriage Bed" at the compound or being bitter and shooting guns, we were having a blast with Quizzo. I mean, sure the pope gets to wear an awesome cap and gets carted around in a fancy bullet proof thing, but is seeing an ex-Nazi in a mu mu chit-chat at a stadium worth getting worked up over? My hungover blahg after the jump...

What do a judge, a professor, a successful business person, an artist and a writer all have in common?

They all suck at Quizzo.

My team did dismally again. Honestly, I have come in 2nd place once in my entire career of blogging about this Pub Quiz. But like Hillary, I'll keep coming back and after attacking those ahead of me, pulling them down with negativity and in the end making the entire game so awful that nobody will want to come out; I will be victorious!!!

::Insert Howard Dean screech here::

But yeah, Hillary jokes aside, I really do suck.

On the other hand, since I'm not trying to ruin the party (get it? it's a double entendre for the Democratic party and Quizzo?? oh yeah, Hillary jokes were set aside...SIGH) Quizzo was a blast! I am feeling the gastro-intestinal effects of too much Lager and bourbon this morning, but it's worth it. I mean, where else can you be berated by a belligerent Irishman, test your knowledge of Spaghetti Westerns, opera, Dean Cain and The Simpsons and get shit-faced with friends?

Nowhere, my friend, nowhere.

Taking home the $40 prize last night was Chubbles In Charge manned by Matt, Chris, Joe B and the $20 prize went to Chachi Morales and Sven Galli.

Until next week, Quizzonauts!